randomness

I was trying on my wedding dress...for the 1st time in over 10 yrs! Yikes! But I may need to wear it again...in a V-Day dinner/theater play that Ryan & I have roles in. So, I was trying it on. And to my surprise, it still fits! When I stepped out of the bathroom, wearing the gown, Marina was immediately before me...and her eyes were sparkling with enchantment! She started gushing about me and my 'princess' dress! "Mommy! You're wearing a princess dress! You're so pretty! Mommy! You look like Cinderella! You're wearing a princess dress!!!" And then she said something that made me melt into a puddle of love on the floor. She said, "But, Mommy.....who's gonna dance with you?" She is such a girly-girl! Because, obviously any girl wearing a princess dress MUST have a prince right around the corner, ready to dance with her! I LOVED seeing the innocent enchantment in her eyes. So sweet!

The other day, I was trying to do some housecleaning while the little kids took a nap. I knew I only had a short window of time to complete my tasks before the busy kids awoke, so I was hurried and stressing and really kinda crabby. I sent Mark outside to play in the snow, not so much for his sake as it was for mine, to get him out of my way. While I was switching the laundry upstairs, I heard Mark run back inside and stand at the bottom of the stairs and shout up to me, "Mommy!!!" I was so angry that he was being so loud and almost woke up the kids from their nap, I raced downstairs and lost my temper on him. "SHHHH!!! Be quiet! What's wrong with you!?! You're gonna wake up the kids! And why did you walk across the carpet with your wet boots?!? What do you WANT!!!" I was fuming! He looked at me with sad, embarassed eyes and said, "I just wanted you to look out the window at me." He had that same look of innocence in his eyes. Like, all he wanted was Mom's attention. And in that moment, all my housework and tasks suddenly seemed meaningless in comparison. I was so ashamed of my behavior. And I reminded myself that his desire for Mom's attention will be short-lived. Very, very soon, he will be too old & busy to ask Mom to look out the window at his snow creations. So, without another word, I followed him to the front of the house, and I sat at the kitchen window for a long time, watching him play in the snow, and thinking about my attitude, and realizing that I need to cherish these moments so much more than I do. They will be gone too quickly if I don't.