What is Beauty???

At Women's Bible study, we are going through a Beth Moore study of the book of Esther. And, inevitably, the topic of appearance is being discussed. True beauty versus store-bought, skin-deep, fake-baked beauty. And as God knows...my head is very thick! And very often my brain is blissfully unaware of the ugly faults in my heart. So, He decided to teach me a couple lessons this week, OUTSIDE of my study. Oh Lordy! You know how to shake me up! And it usually involves a big swat in the pants! Here's the first story:

"For man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1Samuel 16:7

Ok, I'm addicted to social websites, like facebook and myspace and blogs! It's no secret around here...I could get wrapped up for hours if my kids didn't pull on my arm and tell me, "I'm hungry! It's past lunchtime!" Ooops! That's how absorbed I find myself when I'm surfing those websites. Well, I was checking out my myspace account this week, and I noticed that someone had commented on a group topic that I had previously commented on. This person was someone I had never met, but as we began to comment back and forth with each other, I began to think, "This seems like a cool girl! She could be someone I'd really click with!" She didn't have a photo attached to her name, so I had no idea what her appearance would be. All I knew is that she was witty and friendly, and I liked our quick banter. A few days later, this woman posted a photo of herself. And I'm so ashamed to admit, my first reaction was so snotty! I immediately thought, "Oh! I couldn't be friends with her...she's nothing like I expected." What?!? I stopped myself and questioned my unfair judgements. What was I suddenly finding wrong with her?? The fact that she was probably 15 yrs older than I expected?? The fact that she had a head of silver white hair, rather than the young trendy cut that I imagined?? Or was it the fact that she was wearing sloppy 'hillbilly' clothes in her photo, rather than a cute, updated outfit that I was sure this fresh personality would be wearing?? Wow. So, her appearance suddenly changed the way I thought about this sweet, friendly woman?? I was so disgusted with my shallowness. And I know God allowed this situation to happen for a reason: to show me what is really in my heart. Ouch! That's painful! My prayer=Lord, please change my heart. Help me to see others thru your eyes. With kindness and acceptance, no matter what the outer appearance may be. Help me to remember that every single person is a unique, valuable creation that you have breathed life into and placed a purpose within. Amen!

"I don't dare to compare myself with those who praise themselves. I'm not that kind of person. They measure themselves by themselves. They compare themselves with themselves. When they do that, they are not wise. But I won't brag more than I should. Instead, I will brag only about what I have done in the area God has given me. It is an area that reaches all the way to you."
2 Corinthians 10:12, 13

OK, here's my second story. It is a totally different take on the issue of appearance. I admit that I am in the habit of comparing myself to other people. You know, walking into a room and sizing up the competition. Oh c'mon ladies! Don't pretend you don't do the same exact thing! I automatically notice one lady's cute shoes, the next lady's adorable hairstyle, and (yes! I will admit to you!) I will definitely notice the beautiful woman in the corner, and then I will proceed to pick out each and every flaw I can possibly find in her....just to make myself feel better I guess??? Who knows!!! How superficial, I know! It is tied to my own insecurity. And the Lord is showing me, through this study, how deep that insecurity goes. (And how horribly it manifests itself in my own attitudes!) Unfortunately, the comparisons don't stop there! I find myself comparing my mothering skills to other moms, my marriage with other marriages, etc, etc...you get the idea. What this verse tells me is that it is so foolish to compare ourselves with each other. Rather, we should let God's standards be our litmus test. Last week, the Lord showed me...with obnoxious, flashing lights...just why it's so foolish to compare ourselves with other people. When we compare ourselves to others...what we're really doing is comparing ourselves to their appearance. Not the truth behind the appearance. Here's what happened: I was online again (I know, I know...my poor neglected children!) and a close friend of mine opened up a chat window and began to chat with me. Almost immediately, though, she got right to the point. "Can I ask you a question? You and your husband have been together for a long time.....how do you make it work?" I was kinda caught off guard, and I quickly admitted to her that we have our share of struggles too. She responded with, "But you always look so happy." Hmm......

I replied, "I guess everyone smiles in pictures, right?" But, what I realized was that people may look at our photos, see us always smiling, and assume we are always happy. After further chatting, she admitted that she and her hubby are going thru a rough patch in their marriage. It nearly broke my heart to think that she may be comparing her marriage with mine.....or rather, the appearance of mine. No! No! No! How dangerous and disastrous that would be! As a matter of fact, I've found myself in her same position. I've found myself in those 'rough patches' with my hubby, and I've thought to myself, "We just aren't as happy as that other couple...there must be something wrong with us!" Aye! If only we kept in mind the fact that every marriage goes thru those 'rough patches.'

So, I didn't waste a moment in expaining to her that, yes, there are days when I am so happy in our relationship.....but there are also days when I wake up and have to recommit my vows for that day. Marriage vows aren't only made at the altar. They have to be made every day. Especially when you don't feel as happy as other couples appear! My prayer=Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to see beyond the surface. Help me to display an honest perception of my life. And help me to stop comparing myself with others! Amen and amen!!!

So, here's my next question. How does a woman send out an accurate image to others, without airing out all your laundry?? Hmm...this may be the next lesson God teaches me. Hopefully without having to swat me over the head! lol!