If we had a dollar...

...If we had a dollar for every time we said, "Leave your sister alone," or "Share with your brother," or "Hurry up!" or "How do you ask for that?" or "Settle down!" or "No video games on weeknights," or if we had a dollar for the countless loads of dirty socks and muddy jeans and spaghetti stained tshirts that are thrown into the wash day after day, I bet we'd have enough money to buy the lofty Beckham mansion in L.A...and still have money left over to hire a nanny to say all those repetitive phrases to our kids! But years from now, as we gaze proudly upon our successful and ambitious children (cough, cough), we wouldn't have the joy and satisfaction of knowing that it was our relentless teaching and investing into our kids that will have molded them into who they become. So, I will continue to repeat those same monotonous words, and wash those same miniature clothes day after day, in hopes that someday it will result in something as valuable as a posh L.A. mansion.

Rated-MA

Today is the unfortunate release date of the very explicit Grand Theft Auto 4. Both my husband and my 2 sons are video game lovers. So, when a new game comes onto the market, our ears perk up. But, the Grand Theft games have never been allowed into our home. And for very good reason. They contain explicit foul language, drug use, alcohol abuse, sex, soliciting of prostitutes, drunk driving, rewards for criminal activity, such as car theft and violent acts toward others...and overall, they just encourage a very anti-social behavior that we don't want our family viewing! It seems that each new installation of the game has become worse and worse. And this final version pushes the envelope like never before.

We have recently been having conversations with our 9yr-old, Mark, about why we don't allow him to play certain video games or watch certain movies that his friends are able to view. He gets frustrated with us when the answer is an unwavering NO. And, I understand his frustration. At this time in his life, he is desperately trying to shed the 'little boy' image and be a cool, big, tough guy among his peers. But that doesn't change our stance on the issue. Luckily, he has not asked for us to purchase this Grand Theft game. He understands that it is 'bad.' And he is concerned that a couple of his friends have permission from their parents to buy this new game today. Yes...those are Christian School friends.

Something pretty cool happened yesterday. As we were driving home from school, we were listening to a Christian radio station. And the topic of this particular game was being discussed with a video game critic. They reiterated the specific ways the themes in the Grand Theft games break God's standards and are dangerous to the minds of children in particular. Mark was visibly interested in all they had to say, and it was at that point he became very concerned for his friends who planned to purchase this game. We took it as an open door for us to pray for his friends, and I felt it equipped Mark to talk to his friends about why this game isn't a good choice. It also showed him that when we say NO to a game or movie, it is with good reason. There is so much garbage out there that Ryan and I want to shield our kids from. And I appreciate Christian radio for opening the dialog about these issues, so parents can also be equipped.

What angers me now is that games like this are not meant for children (with the Mature rating), but are clearly marketed toward them. Their posters are plastered all over Blockbuster store windows, toy stores, etc...and they are on shelves right at eye level for a kid to come by and view. If we won't display mature magazines like this, then why display mature games?? This angers me greatly. Many parents, even Christian ones, will blindly purchase the game for their kids. Because it's a game, right?? Wrong!! It's a dangerous tool that I strongly feel has no place among kids' playtime. And, even tho Ryan and I refuse to allow games like this in our home, we still have to deal with instances when Mark goes to a friends' house, because he's always having to call us up and ask our permission for every Teen or Mature rated game that his friends suggest, and we're having to say no to most. The battle continues even outside our home! Hopefully our firm stance will encourage other parents to tighten up on their own rules.

"I am FOR you, child!"

I've found, in recent weeks, that the decisions Ryan and I make as parents are less than popular among our children. Particularly with our eldest. He considers some of the decisions we have made (ie: early bedtime, saying no to expensive purchases, monitoring the junk food he puts into his mouth, etc) to be unfair or even mean-spirited at the moment. I like how Beth Moore (in my Bible study) puts it: "I even used the words from time to time, 'I am for you, child. For heaven's sake, I'm your mother! Why wouldn't I want what's best for you?'" But our kids are too young and immature to understand that our decisions are for them. We are thinking of their best interest, rather than their current whims.

And at times, when they will not be convinced otherwise, we will have to temporarily live with them thinking poorly of us and questioning our motives. "Still, the future ramifications were worth the present misunderstanding." (Beth Moore) And isn't that the way it is with God??

I love how she explained it in this week's lesson: "On a much greater scale, God can take a similar position. He knows when something glorious in the future necessitates something difficult in the present. Because He knows the glory will be worth it, God will risk being misunderstood. Yes, God wants us to have joyful, satisfying lives, but He also wants us to have crowns to cast. Rewards to receive. Character to develop. Compassion to give. Testimonies to tell. In the midst of those painful processes, God makes bold promises."

She references Romans 8:28-39, and as I studied this familiar passage, I jotted down these promises as they apply to me. And here is what it looks like:

God will make sure all things work together for my good.
He will conform me to the likeness of His Son.
He will call me, justify me, glorify me.
He will give me all good things.
He will intercede for me.
He will make me more than a conqueror!

Amen and amen! My prayer this week is that as the Lord endows Ryan and I with the incredible wisdom that is necessary for raising a 'tween' child...hopefully my kids will see God's love and promises through us. We want what is best for them. But ultimately God wants what is best for them. Even in those times when the answer is an unsatisfying NO!