The dreaded "Talk."
It's enough to incite every ouce of anxiety in a parent, right?
Well, we had "The Talk" with Mark on Sunday night.
Ryan and I thought the time was right because Mark will be entering 5th grade next year. And he will be attending public school. Plus he has lots of guy-friends on his football team and in his wrestling club. With all these other influences, we wanted to make sure WE were the ones to tell him the details, before he heard a distorted version from his friends. And we suspected that once we started probing, we'd find out that he already knew more about the topic than he'd let on.
Sure enough, as we began the conversation by asking questions, Mark spilled the snippets of info he'd heard from friends here and there. It wasn't much, considering the conversation that unfortunately permeates average boys' dialogue these days. But, it was still more than we'd realized he had ingested. So, we took the opportunity to fill in the gaps and explain things the way we wanted him to hear it.
Surprisingly, it wasn't nearly as horrible or terrifying or weird as I had envisioned all these years. When Ryan and I approached it in a very casual, informative way, it helped Mark to stop writhing on the floor with fits of nervous laughter, and he was able to look at us face to face and finish the conversation very comfortably. Of course, I'll never forget his initial response: "Eew! Why would anyone wanna do THAT!?!"
It ended up being a very sweet, special conversation. And we were super proud of some of the wise conclusions he drew without our intervention. An example is when we explained to him the way many guys in our culture view sex. They think it makes them cool and macho if they've been with several girls. Right away, Mark looked horrified and said, "But, that's cheating!" To which we responded, "Yes. That's cheating on your future wife." We discussed the importance of choosing your dates wisely; girls that hold the same values as you and have a common desire for purity. Again, he thrilled us when he decided that he wanted to start praying for his future wife, that she will make right choices, just like he is going to do. What a sweetie!
After it's all said and done, I think we accomplished our goal: to explain the basic mechanics of how it works, to reiterate that it's God's plan for marriage, and to reaffirm the fact that when people don't remain within God's rules for sex, they open the door to ugly consequences. Now, I'm pretty confident that when he hears kids make ignorant comments on the topic, he will be equipped with the truth. I also realize that this conversation isn't the big climax that I thought it would be! It's simply a stepping stone. A prerequisite to many more conversations. And hopefully he will always remember that he can talk to us about ANYthing! Lastly, we drilled into his head that he may NEVER tell his friends or siblings about the things we had just discussed. It is the job of each parent to engage their own child in "The Talk."
Phew! One kid down...2 more to go...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Little Star
Mark's comment this morning, regarding his school play tonight, in which he landed the main role: "We HAVE to go out for icecream with everyone else afterward. For the first time in my life, I'm popular!"
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Christmas Pics
Here are some snapshots that we took after church today. I think some of these will be going on our Holiday cards this year!Thursday, December 4, 2008
RaNdOm ObSeRvAtiOnS
1. Ryan may never be able to get out the door for work, without first giving a demanding Rina "kiss and lub (love)."
2. When kids are invited to come forward for prayer during Kid's Connection services, the line that the kids form in front of Ryan is 3 times longer than any other leader...and is mostly made up of starry-eyed 5th grade girls. lol. Ryan is such a hunk!
3. I think it's about time for Reese to get a haircut.
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4. I think the water has been altered...because a ton of my friends are preggy all at once! Katelynn, Nicole, Jill, Julie, Tasha, Angie, Caroline, Rebecca, Natalie, Rachel, Megan, Jen...and I'm sure others that I can't remember at the moment. Just the thought of another pregnancy makes me fatigued. I'll be investing in bottled water for the next few months.
5. We are obviously experiencing a recession in our economy. But, lately I've been finding out about close friends and neighbors that are becoming hugely affected by this national burden. A neighbor that I've lived down the street from for 6yrs has been laid off and will be suddenly moving out of state in a month. Another friend (from church) said her husband has lost 30% of his income, and they may lose their beautiful home. (The home I admit I've secretly envied from time to time). WE have been the family that has lived much more modestly than our acquaintances, but now we are the family that still has a job and a home. Ryan's job, as unglamorous and perhaps 'dead-end' as it sometimes feels, is very secure and unaffected by the current market. Wow. How grateful we need to be. And how ashamed I feel when I think of the times I've complained or been dissatisfied.
6. I think I am employed by Mr. & Mrs. Smith. You know, that movie about the couple that looks like a typical suburban pair on the outside, but ends up being undercover special ops or something. Yeah. I think I work for them. I've provided childcare for their child for 3 yrs. And as time has gone on, I've picked up on little details here and there that blow their cover as 'teachers.' Like yesterday, Mrs. Smith let slip a minor detail...that her husband was an FBI agent before becoming an elementary school principal. And that he ranked #1 in the nation for physical and mental testing. Um...yeah. How do you go from that to becoming a district 204 principal? I kinda wonder if my house is under surveillance now...like undercover agents are hiding in trees and peering thru binoculars, making sure that Mr. & Mrs. Smith's one and only daughter is safe. If that's not enough to make me paranoid, I don't know what is. Yet I LOVE this family. They have been so amazing to me. They are like family. But, yes, Ryan and I are so very intrigued by this mysterious duo. We want to make dinner plans with them over the holidays (we've done this once before) and hopefully get the low-down on their story. "What is it that you reeally do?" ;)
2. When kids are invited to come forward for prayer during Kid's Connection services, the line that the kids form in front of Ryan is 3 times longer than any other leader...and is mostly made up of starry-eyed 5th grade girls. lol. Ryan is such a hunk!
3. I think it's about time for Reese to get a haircut. <----------------------------
4. I think the water has been altered...because a ton of my friends are preggy all at once! Katelynn, Nicole, Jill, Julie, Tasha, Angie, Caroline, Rebecca, Natalie, Rachel, Megan, Jen...and I'm sure others that I can't remember at the moment. Just the thought of another pregnancy makes me fatigued. I'll be investing in bottled water for the next few months.
5. We are obviously experiencing a recession in our economy. But, lately I've been finding out about close friends and neighbors that are becoming hugely affected by this national burden. A neighbor that I've lived down the street from for 6yrs has been laid off and will be suddenly moving out of state in a month. Another friend (from church) said her husband has lost 30% of his income, and they may lose their beautiful home. (The home I admit I've secretly envied from time to time). WE have been the family that has lived much more modestly than our acquaintances, but now we are the family that still has a job and a home. Ryan's job, as unglamorous and perhaps 'dead-end' as it sometimes feels, is very secure and unaffected by the current market. Wow. How grateful we need to be. And how ashamed I feel when I think of the times I've complained or been dissatisfied.
6. I think I am employed by Mr. & Mrs. Smith. You know, that movie about the couple that looks like a typical suburban pair on the outside, but ends up being undercover special ops or something. Yeah. I think I work for them. I've provided childcare for their child for 3 yrs. And as time has gone on, I've picked up on little details here and there that blow their cover as 'teachers.' Like yesterday, Mrs. Smith let slip a minor detail...that her husband was an FBI agent before becoming an elementary school principal. And that he ranked #1 in the nation for physical and mental testing. Um...yeah. How do you go from that to becoming a district 204 principal? I kinda wonder if my house is under surveillance now...like undercover agents are hiding in trees and peering thru binoculars, making sure that Mr. & Mrs. Smith's one and only daughter is safe. If that's not enough to make me paranoid, I don't know what is. Yet I LOVE this family. They have been so amazing to me. They are like family. But, yes, Ryan and I are so very intrigued by this mysterious duo. We want to make dinner plans with them over the holidays (we've done this once before) and hopefully get the low-down on their story. "What is it that you reeally do?" ;)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Prepare
This past Sunday, Ryan spoke in Kid's Connection about preparation. He recounted the story of Zacharias and Elizabeth's encounter with the angel as they were told they would give birth to a son, John. And then Ryan explained to the kids that John the Baptist's life's purpose was to prepare the hearts of people for Jesus' ministry. A whole lifelong effort of preparation in order to usher in Jesus' short 3-year ministry. Wow.
As I examine my life, I realize the importance of preparation. Being prepared for daily divine appointments. But also being prepared for a more intricate purpose that God has planned for my future. That's really something to chew on. A familiar concept. Yet it takes on new meaning as I feel the Lord revealing pieces of that 'future plan' in my life. It will take preparation. Today. I heard a preacher once say that every minute spent on your knees in prayer, and every moment spent studying God's Word, is not done in vain. But, it's tempting to think these practices are trivial. Or not as urgent as the thousands of other tasks at hand.
I want to defy the temptation to procrastinate. I want to prepare. For whatever task He has for me. Perhaps speaking into the life of a hurting neighbor. Or wisely exhorting my growing kids. Or even greater things than that, if He so chooses. In any case, it's not about me. It wasn't about John the Baptist. Or the apostle Paul. Or anyone else that He used. It's always been about God's purposes. And His plan to rescue lost hearts. Wow. Christmas has taken on a new meaning this year. At least it has for me. ;)
As I examine my life, I realize the importance of preparation. Being prepared for daily divine appointments. But also being prepared for a more intricate purpose that God has planned for my future. That's really something to chew on. A familiar concept. Yet it takes on new meaning as I feel the Lord revealing pieces of that 'future plan' in my life. It will take preparation. Today. I heard a preacher once say that every minute spent on your knees in prayer, and every moment spent studying God's Word, is not done in vain. But, it's tempting to think these practices are trivial. Or not as urgent as the thousands of other tasks at hand.
I want to defy the temptation to procrastinate. I want to prepare. For whatever task He has for me. Perhaps speaking into the life of a hurting neighbor. Or wisely exhorting my growing kids. Or even greater things than that, if He so chooses. In any case, it's not about me. It wasn't about John the Baptist. Or the apostle Paul. Or anyone else that He used. It's always been about God's purposes. And His plan to rescue lost hearts. Wow. Christmas has taken on a new meaning this year. At least it has for me. ;)
Monday, December 1, 2008
First Snow
Today we enjoyed the first real snow of the season. The key word here is 'enjoyed' because by next week, this fun, fluffy white stuff will be the object of my greatest frustration! Shoveling, cautious driving, and muddy puddles on my kitchen floor will turn the winter magic into a season-long curse. At least that's from my point of view. But, I'm sure the kids will continue to 'enjoy' the snow all the way through spring. And I admit...that's just what children should do. ;)
