At Women's Bible study, we are going through a Beth Moore study of the book of Esther. And, inevitably, the topic of appearance is being discussed. True beauty versus store-bought, skin-deep, fake-baked beauty. And as God knows...my head is very thick! And very often my brain is blissfully unaware of the ugly faults in my heart. So, He decided to teach me a couple lessons this week, OUTSIDE of my study. Oh Lordy! You know how to shake me up! And it usually involves a big swat in the pants! Here's the first story:
"For man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1Samuel 16:7
Ok, I'm addicted to social websites, like facebook and myspace and blogs! It's no secret around here...I could get wrapped up for hours if my kids didn't pull on my arm and tell me, "I'm hungry! It's past lunchtime!" Ooops! That's how absorbed I find myself when I'm surfing those websites. Well, I was checking out my myspace account this week, and I noticed that someone had commented on a group topic that I had previously commented on. This person was someone I had never met, but as we began to comment back and forth with each other, I began to think, "This seems like a cool girl! She could be someone I'd really click with!" She didn't have a photo attached to her name, so I had no idea what her appearance would be. All I knew is that she was witty and friendly, and I liked our quick banter. A few days later, this woman posted a photo of herself. And I'm so ashamed to admit, my first reaction was so snotty! I immediately thought, "Oh! I couldn't be friends with her...she's nothing like I expected." What?!? I stopped myself and questioned my unfair judgements. What was I suddenly finding wrong with her?? The fact that she was probably 15 yrs older than I expected?? The fact that she had a head of silver white hair, rather than the young trendy cut that I imagined?? Or was it the fact that she was wearing sloppy 'hillbilly' clothes in her photo, rather than a cute, updated outfit that I was sure this fresh personality would be wearing?? Wow. So, her appearance suddenly changed the way I thought about this sweet, friendly woman?? I was so disgusted with my shallowness. And I know God allowed this situation to happen for a reason: to show me what is really in my heart. Ouch! That's painful! My prayer=Lord, please change my heart. Help me to see others thru your eyes. With kindness and acceptance, no matter what the outer appearance may be. Help me to remember that every single person is a unique, valuable creation that you have breathed life into and placed a purpose within. Amen!
"I don't dare to compare myself with those who praise themselves. I'm not that kind of person. They measure themselves by themselves. They compare themselves with themselves. When they do that, they are not wise. But I won't brag more than I should. Instead, I will brag only about what I have done in the area God has given me. It is an area that reaches all the way to you."
2 Corinthians 10:12, 13
OK, here's my second story. It is a totally different take on the issue of appearance. I admit that I am in the habit of comparing myself to other people. You know, walking into a room and sizing up the competition. Oh c'mon ladies! Don't pretend you don't do the same exact thing! I automatically notice one lady's cute shoes, the next lady's adorable hairstyle, and (yes! I will admit to you!) I will definitely notice the beautiful woman in the corner, and then I will proceed to pick out each and every flaw I can possibly find in her....just to make myself feel better I guess??? Who knows!!! How superficial, I know! It is tied to my own insecurity. And the Lord is showing me, through this study, how deep that insecurity goes. (And how horribly it manifests itself in my own attitudes!) Unfortunately, the comparisons don't stop there! I find myself comparing my mothering skills to other moms, my marriage with other marriages, etc, etc...you get the idea. What this verse tells me is that it is so foolish to compare ourselves with each other. Rather, we should let God's standards be our litmus test. Last week, the Lord showed me...with obnoxious, flashing lights...just why it's so foolish to compare ourselves with other people. When we compare ourselves to others...what we're really doing is comparing ourselves to their appearance. Not the truth behind the appearance. Here's what happened: I was online again (I know, I know...my poor neglected children!) and a close friend of mine opened up a chat window and began to chat with me. Almost immediately, though, she got right to the point. "Can I ask you a question? You and your husband have been together for a long time.....how do you make it work?" I was kinda caught off guard, and I quickly admitted to her that we have our share of struggles too. She responded with, "But you always look so happy." Hmm......
I replied, "I guess everyone smiles in pictures, right?" But, what I realized was that people may look at our photos, see us always smiling, and assume we are always happy. After further chatting, she admitted that she and her hubby are going thru a rough patch in their marriage. It nearly broke my heart to think that she may be comparing her marriage with mine.....or rather, the appearance of mine. No! No! No! How dangerous and disastrous that would be! As a matter of fact, I've found myself in her same position. I've found myself in those 'rough patches' with my hubby, and I've thought to myself, "We just aren't as happy as that other couple...there must be something wrong with us!" Aye! If only we kept in mind the fact that every marriage goes thru those 'rough patches.'
So, I didn't waste a moment in expaining to her that, yes, there are days when I am so happy in our relationship.....but there are also days when I wake up and have to recommit my vows for that day. Marriage vows aren't only made at the altar. They have to be made every day. Especially when you don't feel as happy as other couples appear! My prayer=Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to see beyond the surface. Help me to display an honest perception of my life. And help me to stop comparing myself with others! Amen and amen!!!
So, here's my next question. How does a woman send out an accurate image to others, without airing out all your laundry?? Hmm...this may be the next lesson God teaches me. Hopefully without having to swat me over the head! lol!
Showing posts with label bible study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bible study. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Layer by Layer
God is really working on me.
In other times in my life, He has forgiven, encouraged and inspired me. But this season in my life is one in which He is literally peeling back layers of my heart and bringing me through the uncomfortable task of facing inner frustration and anger that has resulted from day to day scars and hurts.
Anger toward people that have been unfair and hurtful. And even anger toward God, for letting those things happen. And for not always doing things the way I thought He should. I find that I have withheld my heart from Him, after witnessing some of the uglier parts of life. As if I need to protect my innermost from an untamed God.
Yes, He is untamed. In fact, He is wild to the core. Unconventional. And beyond mere human comprehension. Yet, He CAN be trusted. Even when it hurts. Or life doesn't seem fair. Even when my purest of intentions seem to be ignored, as God chooses to implement His own plan in my life. He is still faithful. And He has always been beckoning me to open those last stubborn layers that I've rebelliously locked in place. I've felt that tug. Almost daily. And I've tried to appease it by faithfully attending church, by engrossing our schedule with ministry (which I truly love to be involved in!) and by sending up prayers to God like, "Lord, change me. Make me right with You." But, I haven't actually allowed Him to come closer than arm's length. Until now. No wonder my walk with the Lord has been so frustrating! Until we give Him our all we cannot receive HIS ALL!
I plan to more accurately explain what I mean in the following posts, because there are some amazing snippets of scripture that have hit me hard, like driving a wedge between those layers to reveal the mess beneath. And I want to share them with...well, whoever reads this. (Thank you, Dad, for being my faithful reader!) But, even more important, I want to document my journey. So I never forget what God has done. Meantime, here are a few phrases from my bible study that stand out to me:
"Trust God to bring about His best outcome in life's circumstances."
"Our esteem is wrapped up in our faith that we are established by an Almighty God to accomplish His purposes."
"The anointed life engages daily and normal activities in a supernatural way."
"The Enemy is already defeated and your victory is already guaranteed."
"Faith means we act in accordance with what we know [scripture]."
"One of the most incredible benefits of having God's Spirit is access to the ear of God."
"God can bless our lives profoundly for our pure-hearted plans even when He can't, for kindom reasons, bless our idea."
"Every inch of ground we refuse to take with God, we surrender to the Enemy. Satan has no greater agenda than to talk you and me into believing that God is not good after all."
"We are safe both to bring the heights of our ecstatic joys to God and find company and to bring Him the depths of our ugliest emotions and find healing."
All of these phrases are taken from my current bible study, "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A study of David," by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur.
In other times in my life, He has forgiven, encouraged and inspired me. But this season in my life is one in which He is literally peeling back layers of my heart and bringing me through the uncomfortable task of facing inner frustration and anger that has resulted from day to day scars and hurts.
Anger toward people that have been unfair and hurtful. And even anger toward God, for letting those things happen. And for not always doing things the way I thought He should. I find that I have withheld my heart from Him, after witnessing some of the uglier parts of life. As if I need to protect my innermost from an untamed God.
Yes, He is untamed. In fact, He is wild to the core. Unconventional. And beyond mere human comprehension. Yet, He CAN be trusted. Even when it hurts. Or life doesn't seem fair. Even when my purest of intentions seem to be ignored, as God chooses to implement His own plan in my life. He is still faithful. And He has always been beckoning me to open those last stubborn layers that I've rebelliously locked in place. I've felt that tug. Almost daily. And I've tried to appease it by faithfully attending church, by engrossing our schedule with ministry (which I truly love to be involved in!) and by sending up prayers to God like, "Lord, change me. Make me right with You." But, I haven't actually allowed Him to come closer than arm's length. Until now. No wonder my walk with the Lord has been so frustrating! Until we give Him our all we cannot receive HIS ALL!
I plan to more accurately explain what I mean in the following posts, because there are some amazing snippets of scripture that have hit me hard, like driving a wedge between those layers to reveal the mess beneath. And I want to share them with...well, whoever reads this. (Thank you, Dad, for being my faithful reader!) But, even more important, I want to document my journey. So I never forget what God has done. Meantime, here are a few phrases from my bible study that stand out to me:
"Trust God to bring about His best outcome in life's circumstances."
"Our esteem is wrapped up in our faith that we are established by an Almighty God to accomplish His purposes."
"The anointed life engages daily and normal activities in a supernatural way."
"The Enemy is already defeated and your victory is already guaranteed."
"Faith means we act in accordance with what we know [scripture]."
"One of the most incredible benefits of having God's Spirit is access to the ear of God."
"God can bless our lives profoundly for our pure-hearted plans even when He can't, for kindom reasons, bless our idea."
"Every inch of ground we refuse to take with God, we surrender to the Enemy. Satan has no greater agenda than to talk you and me into believing that God is not good after all."
"We are safe both to bring the heights of our ecstatic joys to God and find company and to bring Him the depths of our ugliest emotions and find healing."
All of these phrases are taken from my current bible study, "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A study of David," by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur.
What a relief!
"My confidence rests not in MY faithfulness but in HIS."
Phew! What a relief! I've lived too much of my life feeling beaten down. How the Enemy loves to remind me of my failures. And my lack of faithfulness. And how he loves to play on that discouragement to convince me that it's not worth trying to live holy before my God...after all, I'll only fail again.
Praise God that He is faithful to me even when I am not. Or should I say especially when I am not! No longer will my confidence (or lack thereof) rest in my own level of faithfulness. I will choose to remember that it rests in HIS undying faithfulness.
Wow! How a perspective like that will change a life! Change an outlook! Change every decision, every circumstance, and every moment I spend with Him. This small phrase, taken straight from my current bible study, has impacted me in ways I hadn't prepared for. I'm so glad it did.
Phew! What a relief! I've lived too much of my life feeling beaten down. How the Enemy loves to remind me of my failures. And my lack of faithfulness. And how he loves to play on that discouragement to convince me that it's not worth trying to live holy before my God...after all, I'll only fail again.
Praise God that He is faithful to me even when I am not. Or should I say especially when I am not! No longer will my confidence (or lack thereof) rest in my own level of faithfulness. I will choose to remember that it rests in HIS undying faithfulness.
Wow! How a perspective like that will change a life! Change an outlook! Change every decision, every circumstance, and every moment I spend with Him. This small phrase, taken straight from my current bible study, has impacted me in ways I hadn't prepared for. I'm so glad it did.
